I Don't Think At All
by Zombiez-R-Us
Summary: After Watching a video on you tube about a certain game, a young boy decides to download a demo for a game called, "Portal", on his x-box...And gets sucked in. To bad he never thinks, cuz he'll need to do alot of that before he can get out...(This is if I was in portal...) WARNING!: 1st Chap: Kinda boring. 2nd Chap: A little better. WILL GET BETTER SOON!
1. I Wish I Had A Portal Gun

"_Heloooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo EVREH BAH-DEH!_"

*_**Sings Michale Jackson**_*

"_I'm back! I'm back!_

_You know it, Ya know!_

_And the whole world knows, I'm back, and I'm proud,_

_Gonna tell you once again..._

_I'M BACK!_"

...

**Never** speak of this!...**_L(#,.,.,*)-C_**

...

_Hey, guy's! I missed you a lot, and I hope this small story will hold you off until I can get on, soooooooooooooo, here it is... (-U-)..._

* * *

Dis-claim-a-nator: I have never, nor will ever, own the the portal game OR it's franchise, INCLUDING the portal gun...But if I DID...:

_"I would shoot a blue portal in the bottom of my pool, fill it with cow shit, drive to where ever J.B. lives, shoot an orange one over his head and, well, you know the rest...(=U=)...HE, HE, HE!"_

* * *

**I-Don't Think At All...**

(My P.O.V.)

Sunday, Something - something, 7:00 pm, Year: 2000 and derp-face...(20:3)...

...

_"...I'm breakin out, I FEEL IT IN MY SOUL!... 'Nough to make my systems go!...Welcome to the new age, to the new age!..."_

I am sitting at the desk in my room after a long day of school...listening to "_Imagine Dragons"..._

"I love this song!...Ahh...never get tired of it...Oh! crap, I ought to check my subscriptions, havent done that in a while..."

I looked through all the people I subscribed to on _Yoo-tuub!, _and I noticed that "_College Humor_" had added a video called, "_I wish I had a portal gun!"..._

"Looks interesting enough..." I said, as I clicked the link to the video...

It started playing...

_"**Wish I Had A Portal Gun"**_

By: _Colledge Humor_

...

_"Wish I had a Portal,  
Wish, I Wish I had a Portal Gun...  
Wish I had a Portal,  
Wish, I Wish I had a Portal Gun!..."_

"To be an Aperture Science client  
Would be like a dream  
Hey yo, my brain has been cravin' it back  
Since Por-tal hit steam!"

"No commute to work, I'd have  
The portal express...  
With a blue one in my closet,  
Orange one at my desk!"

"When my roommate is annoying, and been  
Toying with my stuff,  
I'd shoot a portal underneath him, and just  
Punch him in the **nuts**!"

"I'd order delivery, get it  
Fast like digiorno,  
'cuz once it leaves the restaurant  
It goes right through a por-tal!"

"I'm never late, for a date,  
Just ask, my lady friends...  
By using portal physics,  
I'm always impressing them..."

"Forget making reservations!  
I would never have to wait,  
Portal in the right location,  
I've got someone else's plate!..."

"I could sneak into a party,  
Where they didn't invite me,  
And be dealing out bacardi,  
While some dudes try to fight me!"

"...Would always end well,  
Dealing with these mere mortals!...  
Aperture hand-helds,  
Got me thinkin' with portals!"

_"Wish I had a Portal,  
Wish, I Wish I had a Portal Gun!"_

"I'm not mute like freeman, yo!  
But please don't make me beg for one!"

"Wish I had a Portal,  
Wish, I Wish I had a Portal Gun!"

"I'd be cool as chell!-  
Oh, I could do a speedy grocery run!.."

"Life gave me lemons-  
I don't make lemonade!  
I'm mad, like Cave Johnson...  
I got lemon grenades!"

"The world is filled with puzzles,  
I could solve with portal physics...  
I would brave the chamber struggles,  
Just to es-cape family visits!"

"I'd be traveling like a maveric,  
Surfaces all orange and blue,  
When I'm locked out my apartment,  
I'd use the companion cube!"

"Oh, GLaDOS! Take me to your center!  
'Cuz I want to get enriched!  
I'm dyin, thinkin 'bout your science,  
I'd do anything for it!..."

...

"Yeah, I'd shoot 2 portals in a vertical line,  
Undo my belt, lean in and..."

...

"...Change pants without having to look down...

-**Also I'd suck my own** **DIIIIIIIIICK!**"

("_Wish I Had a Portal, _

_Wish, I Wish I Had a Portal Gun!")_

"YEAH BITCHES!... _SCIENCE_!...Now your cumming through _PORTALS!"_

_"Wish I had a Portal,_  
_Wish, I Wish I had a Portal Gun..._  
_Wish I had a Portal,_  
_Wish I Wish I had a Portal Gun!"_

_..._

By the end of the video I was laughing my ass of...Even though I had no clue about what half of the joke meant...

It was clear what I had to do at that moment, and so I did...

* * *

More coming _very _soon...

Tell me if you like and if not I will stop writing this for now...Thank you

...

Also, you might notice I'm not acting my cheery, usual, funny self lately...

Well, I've kinda grown up...

(I still love MineCraft, though, and if any of my fans out there want to friend me on x-box, my gamertag is "DiamondSordLord".)

...Hell, I was even thinking about bailing out on the site completely...To be honest, I wasn't even gonna write this...

(But I can't bail out on my fans...)

Look, I really don't feel like talking about the reason why right now...But for the people who have read my other stories, P.M. me if you want to know why I lost insperation...

Well, see you next time I write...

-Teh Zombie.


	2. Tip: DON'T say, X-Box

Here is the next chap that some of you may have been waiting for...

.

.

.

(=3=)...!

**DERP!**

That is all.

* * *

**Disclaimer:** I do not own "_Protal"_, _yada, yada_, Or franchise, _yada, yada_, "_Portal"_ in pool, cow shit, _yada, yada_, Justin Beiber-**ON WITH THE STORY**! (^U^)

* * *

**I Don't Think At All...**

Chapter 2: _Tip: DON'T say, "X-Box"_

_..._

I ran to the X-Box 360 and turned it on, grabbing the controller and flying on to the couch.

"So fuckin' PUMPED!" I shouted.

I waited for the the screen to load, and while it was doing that I decided to go and play the song over.

I had already exited the window, so I opened up a new one and searched up the song...

The X-Box so I just picked a random video, it seemed like it was the original.

I searched up the "Portal" in the games and I got a couple of results.

"Ah! Let's see, here...'_Portal 2_', good..."

I tried to download it.

By this time the song on the computer had already played through once and had started playing over again, though

I hadn't noticed...

"Aw, man! You can only buy it with money...And there's no demo!"

I went back to see if there were any more.

"Hmmmmmm...'_Portal 2 _Trailer' , '_Portal: Still Alive'.._.Wait...'_Lemon Farm'?...What? _What the hell do _**lemons**_ have to do with _Portal_?"

I went back to "_Portal: Still Alive_" and tried it out...

Sure enough, there was a downloadable version.

"_WHHHOOOOOOOOOOOOO-HOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!_ I'ma playin Portal! I'ma playin Portal!" I screamed.

I selected "Download demo" and of course, it was free for the trial version, so I had no problem.

It started.

"Great!...Now I just gotta wait a little...*Yawn!*...Ah...Guess i'm...A little tired...*Thump!*"

Only right before I had passed out on the couch, did I realise just how much sleep I had lacked the past few day's...

As my eye's slowly fell...I noticed that the download had finished.

"goooooood...X-bux...Play Prtal..." I mumbled...

The screen exited x-box home and entered into the main menu of the game.

Unfoutunatly...Before I K.O.'ed, I had failed to notice three _very_ vital facts...

...

1: My X-Box has a kinect...

2: I just so happened to have opened the _ten-hour_ version of, "I Wish I Had A Portal Gun"...

3: I am a sleep-talker...

...

Here's a Fun-Fact!:

Did you know that if you leave an old X-Box on for more than 10 minutes with something completely covering it's

ventilation, it'll set **fire**!

_Now we know_!

And _knowing_ is a quarter of the battle!...

**_G.*. J0EY_!**

**_..._**

"_Hmm...I wonder how long it took me to mumble, "X-Box" in my sleep?...And how long it took for the song playing _

_over and over to completely fry the X-Box's circuits?...After all, the kinect does what you ask of it...So when _

_you wish for a portal gun...You'l get one..."_

"**AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!**"

I jolted upright on the couch waking up from a nightmare...

"What a _weird,_ fucking nightmare...All I remember is being pelted by a bunch of flaming lemons by a bunch of guy's in lemon costumes driving a yellow porshe..."

It was dark.

I checked the time, glancing into the kitchen from where I was sitting on the couch to see the time on the microwave...

11:00 pm.

"Wow...I slept 4 hours...Honestly, I was expecting something more like _twenty-_four hours..."

That's when I noticed the blue light, the only thing bright in the entire house...

"Da fuck?...AW! SHIT! I left the X-Box on!..."

I went to turn it off, but before I did, I decided to acknowledge the fact that there should not _be_ a blue light

radiating from the T.V.

"_Wait_...This 'aint a P.C. so it _can't _be blue screen...So what the fuck is it?"

That is when I noticed the song playing on the computer.

"Damn! The electric bill's gonna be higher than Bob Marley..."

I shut it off and went over to the X-Box to do the same.

"_Time to shut this bitch down_..."

I hit the power button.

And when I did..._Everything_ was gone.

...

_I thought I had either blacked out, or the power had...But the one thing I remember...Was that haunting_, _robotic_,

_voice_...

.

.

.

"_He**L**L0.**..**Wo_Ul_d_ _Yo_**u lI**_k_e tO _pl__**A**_A**y **a G_a**mE**?_

* * *

_"HEY! It's a **Pair-a-Portal Activity**! _Get it_? HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAH!"_

_..._

_"**Hey-Loh, Ev-Ar-Aye-Bah-Dehy! **_The Zombie here with a small message and a new chapter, HERE'S THE

MESSAGE!...

...

***Insert Bad Joke Here:***

...

"Got _**Braaaaaainz?"**_

:3:3:3

-(TvO)- **I**** Want _YOU_!...To Join The Walker Army!**-(OvT)-

**Become a Zom-Broh!, _TODAY!_**

:3:3:3

**_Follow me or my stories to become a "Walker"_**

**_And "Favourite" Me to become a "ZOM-BRO!"_**

**_IT'S THAT EASY!_**

:3:3:3

**Join Our Un-dead Leigon...Where Our Motto Is;**

**"You're _E__xpected_, To Be _INFECTED!_"**

**-(O-o)/**

**Guh-bai!**

**(See my profile for my BRAND NEW poll.)**

*_This is sort of a joke, by the way...Although I am thinking of creating a community!_


End file.
